The Bittersweet Side of Joy:
Why Happy Life Changes Still Break Our Hearts
Why Happy Life Changes Still Break Our Hearts
Even the happiest moments ask us to grieve
—and here’s why it matters.
My daughter is getting married.
She’s glowing, excited, full of love and dreams
for the future.
And she’s changing her name.
It’s a choice rooted in tradition, and one she’s made gladly.
But as we fill out forms and update documents, something deeper stirs in me—a whisper of recognition that this isn’t just paperwork.
It’s a shift in identity.
A chapter closing.
A version of herself that’s quietly being left behind.
Even happy changes carry grief.
We’re so used to framing weddings, births, retirements, and house moves as “positive change” that we forget they still involve a transition
—a letting go of what was.
That’s where William Bridges’ Transition Model
gives us language for the invisible layers.
gives us language for the invisible layers.
Before You Begin Again, You Have to Let Go
Bridges teaches us that change is external—a wedding, a job, a move.
But transition is internal.
And it always starts with an ending.
For my daughter, this might be:
- Letting go of her maiden name, the one she’s signed for decades.
- Leaving behind the identity she formed growing up in our home.
- Quietly acknowledging that something is ending, even as something beautiful begins.
There’s joy, yes. But also an ache.
And for me?
It’s letting go of the little girl I raised, who once wrote “Mrs. Sparkle Pony” on every school assignment because that name made her feel powerful and free.
It’s letting go of being the center of her family world.
The Messy, Magical Middle: Why the In-Between Is So Hard
There’s a space between what’s ending and what’s beginning.
Bridges calls it The Neutral Zone—but it often feels anything but neutral.
It’s the wedding limbo of guest lists and fittings.
It’s second-guessing how she wants to introduce herself.
It’s wondering if she still feels like “herself” when the name on the form reads differently.
This middle ground can be confusing, lonely, and strangely tender.
Most of us want to rush past it.
But this is where transformation really happens.
Naming that ache matters.
"The neutral zone feels messy—because it’s where real transformation happens."
Real New Beginnings Only Happen When We’re Brave Enough to Grieve
Eventually, she’ll settle into her new name, her new role, her new rhythms.
She’ll build something wonderful with her partner—shared routines, inside jokes, a home full of laughter and frustration and socks that never make it to the laundry basket.
But here’s the truth the world rarely says out loud:
You can’t truly begin again if you haven’t honoured what you’re leaving behind.
Grief isn’t a mistake. It’s a bridge.
If You're Feeling the Bittersweet Pull, You’re Not Alone
When someone you love is going through a joyful change…
Don’t assume it’s all excitement.
Leave space for tenderness.
For the lump in the throat.
For the “what now?” moments.
For the ache that says, this mattered.
Celebrate the beginning, yes.
But bless the ending, too.
Because endings aren’t failures.
They’re sacred.
When the Inner Critic Whispers,“If Only…”
Transitions stir up more than we expect.
The inner critic loves to sneak in, whispering:
- If only I were stronger.
- If only I could just be happy.
- If only I didn’t feel this way.
- You don’t need to believe those voices.
You are not failing because you feel bittersweet.
You are simply standing at the doorway of something new.
And you’re doing it beautifully.
When You’re Ready to Rise, I’m Here
If you’re walking through a season of change—whether joyful, painful, or both
—and you’re longing for more than surface-level advice, vivify-me is here.
This work was born for moments like these.
Because becoming isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about honouring who you were—and stepping into who you’re ready to become.