February Flow:From Low Energy to Love Energy
January was all about pushing through—new goals, resolutions, and shaking off the holiday fog. But let’s be honest, January energy is a bit… heavy. It’s cold, it’s dark, and we’re all just trying to remember why we ever thought kale smoothies were a good idea.
But then comes February. The month where the energy shifts—lighter, softer, warmer (at least emotionally).
Where January was about discipline, February is about connection.
Love, if you will, in all its messy, real, complicated forms.
But love in midlife? It’s not all roses and poetry—it’s also self-doubt, evolving relationships, and figuring out how to love yourself just as much as you love others.
And who’s got a LOT to say about all that? Your inner critic.
Let’s Talk About Love, Life & That Voice in Your Head
Picture this: You and I are sitting in a cozy café, lattes in hand, talking about love, relationships, and why our brains sometimes sound like they’re auditioning for a role in a bad reality TV show.
Welcome to midlife, where relationships get real, self-doubt gets loud, and love—romantic or otherwise—feels more complicated than ever.
Maybe you're about to walk down the aisle
excited but also looking back at everything that led you here. The friendships, the heartbreaks, the wild nights, the quiet moments, the lessons learned. It’s thrilling—but also a little bittersweet.
In a long-term relationship
and realizing that love at this stage is less about grand gestures and more about who takes out the trash without being asked.
Adjusting to a new reality after a divorce or break-up
re-learning how to be on your own, grieving a partner you’ve lost, or maybe you’re stepping back into dating and wondering if modern romance is really just a game of sending clever texts and hoping for the best.
Or maybe redefining a friendship
realizing that the people who once felt like family have drifted, and now you're figuring out how to cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections.
Life is shifting, and with every shift comes a little (or a lot of) inner doubt.Wherever you are, one thing is certain: Your inner critic is having an absolute field day.
Your Inner Critic: The Third Wheel
Most of us have experienced our inner voice - that private personal monolgue that chips away.. “Why did I do that? That was so stupid.” Or worse: “I’m such an idiot.” Maybe it’s something more personal like “I’m fat,” “I’m unlovable,” “I’ll always be alone.” We’d never say these things to a friend, yet for some reason, we let our inner critic run rampant in our own minds.
Eckhart Tolle, in The Power of Now, describes the impact of this kind of thinking perfectly:
“About 80-90 percent of most people’s thinking is not only repetitive but useless. Because of its dysfunctional and often negative nature, much of it is also harmful. Observe your mind and you will find this to be true. It causes a serious leakage of vital energy.”
Imagine that. "A serious leakage of vital energy." That phrase hits hard, doesn’t it? Because that’s exactly what happens. Instead of using our energy to build confidence, deepen our relationships, or simply enjoy life, we drain ourselves with endless self-criticism.
Some people believe the inner critic helps them stay on track—keeps them motivated or prevents them from making mistakes. But here’s the thing: There’s a way to motivate yourself without tearing yourself down.
Why Is Your Inner Critic So Loud Right Now?
📌 Big Life Transitions: Marriage, divorce, dating again, rediscovering yourself—these big shifts create uncertainty, and uncertainty is where the inner critic thrives.
📌 Cultural & Family Expectations: Let’s be honest—society has opinions about what love should look like at every stage. And if you don’t fit the mold, that voice gets louder.
📌 Comparison Culture: Social media has turned relationships into a highlight reel. It’s easy to forget that behind every perfect couple photo is a person who also argues about how to load the dishwasher.
But here’s the good news: That voice in your head? It’s not the truth. It’s just a habit. And like any bad habit, it can be changed.
Final Thoughts: You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be
February’s energy invites us to soften into love—love for others, love for ourselves, love for the evolving stories we’re living. Relationships in midlife aren’t about hitting milestones or meeting expectations—they’re about figuring out what actually makes you happy. And if your inner critic tries to tell you otherwise? You know what to do.