As Time Goes By: Births & Birthdays

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If you’ve reached a certain age in midlife, you might find yourself marking significant milestones in your children’s lives with a profound sense of nostalgia and reflection.

Today, my daughter turns 30, and it feels like a big day—not just for her, but for me as well. This milestone brings back a flood of memories, taking me back to the day she was born, to who I was then, and the journey we’ve shared since.

The Transition to Motherhood

Before my daughter was born, my life was characterized by a sense of freedom and self-management. I was a woman in a marriage with no children, enjoying a life where my time was my own and my relationship with my partner was uncomplicated by the demands of parenthood. We traveled, pursued our careers, and had a vibrant social life. Our relationship was centered around mutual interests and shared adventures, and the future seemed open and full of possibilities.

The news of my pregnancy brought joy but also a realization that our lives were about to change in ways we couldn’t fully comprehend. The freedom I cherished would soon be replaced by the responsibilities of parenthood. The dynamic of my relationship with my partner would shift, as we would need to navigate the new roles and challenges that come with raising a child.

The Day She Was Born

The day my daughter was born is etched in my memory with incredible clarity. I remember the joy and anticipation, but also the fear and uncertainty. My daughter was born without the roof of her mouth, a condition that required immediate and ongoing medical care. The hospital experience was overwhelming. Being told that my child couldn’t feed like other babies was heartbreaking. Seeing her taken to special care right after birth left me exhausted and anxious about the future.

Navigating Challenges

From that day forward, life was a mix of the happiest and most challenging times. Watching her grow and thrive brought immense joy, but knowing she had a long road of surgeries and treatments ahead was daunting. Each surgery, each dental procedure, each hospital visit was a step forward, a move towards making her whole. The first year was particularly tough, with surgeons working to close her palate, dentists correcting her jawline, and ENT specialists fitting grommets.

The Loss of Freedom and Changing Relationships

Becoming a mother brought about a profound shift in my daily life and in my identity. The freedom I once had to pursue my interests was now replaced with the constant care and attention my daughter required. My relationship with my partner also evolved; we had to navigate the stresses and strains of parenting a child with different needs. Our conversations shifted from plans and dreams to medical appointments. The spontaneous outings and leisurely weekends were replaced with structured routines and sleepless nights.

The Importance of Acknowledging Emotions

In the midst of these challenges, I often pushed my own emotions aside. As parents, we tend to handle things as they come, prioritizing our children’s needs above our own. In those moments, our feelings seem inconsequential compared to the responsibility of caring for our child. However, I’ve learned that this approach is not healthy. Failing to acknowledge our feelings in the moment can lead to unresolved emotions that resurface later. It’s crucial to recognize and process our emotions as they arise, allowing us to let go in a healthy way and remain strong and positive through every challenge we face.

Embracing Change

What we didn’t understand back then was the profound impact these experiences would have on both of us. Change, in whatever form it comes—whether it’s a health challenge, a house move, a divorce, or a job loss—requires acknowledgment. We can’t just let these moments wash over us without recognizing their significance. Each change, each challenge, shapes who we are and how we move forward.

Life Change Acknowledgement Quote

Reflecting on the Journey

Thirty years on, I look back on our journey with a sense of pride and gratitude. My daughter’s 30th birthday is a moment to celebrate not just her life, but our resilience, our strength, and our ability to face forward despite the difficulties. It hasn’t always been easy, but every challenge has brought us closer, has made us stronger.

As I reflect on this milestone, I’m proud of her and proud of myself for navigating this journey together. We’ve faced many ups and downs, but we’ve also shared countless hugs, raised numerous glasses in celebration, and supported each other through it all.

Moving Forward

As we move forward, it’s important to continue acknowledging the impact of these significant moments. To forgive ourselves for the times we struggled, and to celebrate the times we thrived. Life is a journey, full of unexpected twists and turns, and it’s these experiences that shape us.

So today, as I celebrate my daughter’s 30th birthday, I’m filled with gratitude. Gratitude for the journey we’ve shared, for the lessons we’ve learned, and for the love that has carried us through. Here’s to many more milestones, to embracing change, and to facing the future with hope and resilience.


Every milestone is a reminder of how far we've come and how much we've grown. As we celebrate these moments, let’s also take the time to acknowledge our feelings, process our emotions, and embrace the journey ahead with an open heart.

Thank you for joining me on this reflective journey. I hope my story resonates with you and encourages you to embrace your own life changes with strength and positivity.

If you’re navigating through midlife transitions and seeking support, Vivify-Me is here to help. Our programs are designed to guide you through life’s challenges with resilience and hope.

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